Haruka...(Distance...)
by Marina1
Summary: What happens to the spirit within Maron once she dies? And can she be with Chiaki again in the next life despite her obligations as God's human experiment? Please rate and review!!


Notes: Hello. How is everyone today? This is the first fanfic that I have ever OFFICALLY completed (not the first one I've written, mind you). It's based on the manga/anime series, "Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne". It's based more on the manga though, because I've only seen eight anime episodes, and I've read the entire manga series. Also, this fanfic was completed before I've seen the ending to Jeanne, so some of it's consistent with how the manga ends. I have since read the end of the manga, and this fic HEAVILY conflicts with the continuity of the series. It messes with several things that happen at the end. If you've never seen, read or heard of Kaitou Jeanne, then I should warn you that this fic contains A LOT of religious references. If you are offended by anything of that nature (such as depictions of heaven, God, angels, or reincarnation), click the back button on your browser now. But I also ask that you give it a chance. Geez, I sound like I'm warning you about extreme violence or whatever. Hehehe... how odd I am... Anyway, I hope you enjoy the fic. I like to call the style that it's written in abstract fanfiction. This was a labor of love for me, and quite emotionally draining to write. I hope it was worth it!! And please be sure to see the notes at the end of the fic where I explain myself... :-) Please rate and review!!  
  
Disclaimers: I don't own Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne. That was created by the talented Tanemura Arina. Other things that I borrow belong to their respective owners(see notes at the end). And all quotes/songs belong to their respective speakers/singers. I'm not making money off of this, so please don't sue me. The only thing that I own that is of any value is my insanity. I don't think anyone wants that...  
  
Haruka... (Distance... )  
by Marina  
  
"Uchuu wo koete (I'll cross over space)  
Toki wo koete (I'll cross over time)  
Sekai wo koete (I'll cross over worlds)  
Mata... aitai... (Again... I want to meet you...)"  
- A quote I made up  
  
A lone figure wandered through the more deserted parts of Heaven.  
  
The long, white wings that arched gracefully from beneath her purple cloak gave her the appearance of an angel.  
  
However, she was not an angel. Not truly.  
  
The tiny Black and Pure angels tended to stay together around where the Pel trees grew. The True angels tended to stay in the higher levels of Heaven, where they were closer to God.  
  
Which left this single figure. The only one in Heaven who wasn't really an angel.  
  
She was God's human experiment. A "life", a "spirit", that could be born again and again. She held one-third of God's power within her, so she was the essence of Light, of Purity, of Goodness itself.  
  
Angels themselves could request to be born again. Generally these were angels who had not yet learned all they needed to know before coming to Heaven, those who still had duties to complete or people to see. Or sometimes they were allowed to be born again because a pure heart had prayed for it, prayed to meet that person again someday. Or children who had died before they even had a true chance to live were often allowed to go back to the human world. To do this however, the angels needed to store up vast amounts of power, and this sometimes took a very long time. It was extremely taxing , so they would only do it once or twice before finally staying in Heaven, and eventually they would become True angels, to stay in God's Light and Love forever.   
  
But this "life", every 500 years, was sent back to earth with God's power. There, she would touch the lives of many and change the face of history in some way.  
But it was always the same for her. With so much power and Purity, she was a great pillar of God's power. As long as she existed, God could never be destroyed.  
  
Satan knew this.  
  
Every time the "spirit" was reborn, Satan would sent his Devils after her. But since she was Purity and Goodness, her powers were sealed by God, and evil could not enter her. Satan knew that if he succeeded in breaking the "spirit", God would cease to exist. But because of her Light, this could never be so, and each time the "spirit" was reborn, Satan, out of frustration, would find someway to kill the "life" she was born into.  
  
The burden upon her shoulders was heavy, but she could bear it, because she understood. She knew God's Love for her.  
  
Since she was the only one of her "kind", she was honored and venerated in Heaven. She could enter any part of Heaven that she wanted, and the angels all loved and respected her. She would never want for anything.  
  
Despite all this, however, she was often very lonely, as there was none like her anywhere. And she could never stay with the ones She loved for long. Each "life" she had lived, and each time there had been someone she loved that she knew she couldn't be with forever, no matter how much she wished.  
  
The angels had their loves, and they could always be together. Sometimes, when she watched them from afar, she would feel a little sad. But the feelings would always be driven away when one of the tiny angels would come over and invite her to play with them. Then her joy had no bounds. Playing games with the tiny angels was her chief happiness.  
  
But today, she hadn't felt like staying with the angels. She had wandered off to be alone and do some thinking. Her thoughts were dwelling on "that person". One of her "lives".  
  
The place where she had wound up was silent, with a only a light wind blowing through it. It was covered with old pillars and collapsed stone entryways. No one knew what the place really was but God, and He had never said what it was. It was rumored amongst the tiny angels that it had been the "place" that God had once fought a battle with Satan in. Sometimes the tiny angels would come here to play hide-and-seek. Other than that, the "place" wasn't used for anything, except the pools that were scattered about it were used for watching the human world sometimes, or for bathing.  
  
It was one of these that the figure sought. She stopped next to it, staring into its depths. Beneath the surface, tiny points of light darted about like fish. Ancient hunks of columns rested on its bottom. She sat down on its edge, which was not a shore, but an abrupt drop into the water, and made herself comfortable. This would be a nice, quiet place to think, she decided. The angels were preoccupied with harvesting ripe Pel fruits today, so none of them would come to talk to her.  
  
She settled down, sitting on her knees, and she folded her hands before her and prayed for a while, as she always did. Then, still on her knees, she leaned forward on her hands and stared into the water. After contemplating her reflection for a moment, she reached out a hand and touched the water briefly with one finger. Instantly, the water rippled, the rings from her point of contact with the water spread far into the surface of the pool. And her reflection changed. It became that of a "woman" with long, blonde hair done up in ponytails, "her" eyes the color of amethyst, dressed in a red and white outfit.  
  
She smiled at this image as memories of "that person" came to the surface of her mind. The "life" and how it had been lived. That "life" had possibly been the fullest "life" of all the ones she had lived.  
  
The memory of the "life" she had just come from were always freshest in her mind, but she could remember each of the "lives" she had lived. The feelings from the other "lives", however, were harder to grasp. The ones from the "life" she had just come from were still very present. Sometimes, it was hard to separate herself from them.  
  
This reflection stirred up many of the feelings from her previous "life".  
  
"'Jeanne'..." she whispered to the reflection, "'Maron'... I wish that I could meet you again..."  
  
"You miss 'her', don't you?" came a male voice.  
  
She whirled around to make sure it was who she thought it was, then smiled, jumped to her feet and ran into the man's arms. "Archangel Michael!!"  
  
Michael smiled and returned the embrace, "Daughter of God. Sweet Light."  
  
She pulled back and took his arm, and they began walking together through the ruins.  
  
"What brings you to this level of Heaven?" she asked him.  
  
"I came to help the Black and Pure angels with their Pel harvest. I love to be here during this time. The little angels are so happy, and they sing and help each other and cavort amongst the trees. Those days are the ones that show the true heart of Heaven. Sweet Light, why haven't you come to see me lately?"  
  
She shrugged, "I don't know. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I didn't even feel like helping the angels today."  
  
"Are you thinking about 'her'?" Michael asked gently.  
  
She didn't answer, but rather asked a question of her own, "How long?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"How long until I can go back?"  
  
Michael smiled, "500 years is a long time, isn't it?"  
  
She nodded.  
  
He continued, "You're always so eager to back."  
  
"I can't bear the thought of human suffering. I feel so helpless up here. I want to be down there, helping the human race again." She said, staring at the ground as if she could see through it to the earth below. "My time there is always so short."  
  
Michael put a hand on her shoulder, "You care about others so much. You truly are the Daughter of God. 'Mary' was the same. 'Jeanne d'Arc' was the same, " he paused, running a finger affectionately over the outside of one of her silky wings. "'She' was the same."  
  
She nodded silently again as they started walking.  
  
"But, my Sweet Light, you're mistaken."  
  
She looked up at him, "Mistaken about what?"  
  
"That you're helpless to help your beloved people from up here. There's one thing that you can always do." he turned to face her before continuing, "And that is pray. You can always pray, and God will always hear you, and He'll do what He can."  
  
She smiled back at him, "I know, Michael. I didn't forget. I just... really want to go back..."  
  
Their conversation was suddenly interrupted by a small voice shouting, "Archangel Michael!! Archangel Michael!! Where did you go!?"  
  
The voice came from a tiny Black angel that was flapping madly through the ruins. He spotted Michael and smiled, fluttering up near his head, "Archangel Michael!! We need your help!! Autumn Leaf got herself tangled in the branches of one of the Pel trees!!"  
  
"How ironic." Michael chuckled.  
  
Then the angel noticed her standing there, and his eyes widened in wonder.  
  
"Oh... it's you, the one Archangel Michael calls Sweet Light. The Daughter of God."  
  
She giggled and held out her hand, inviting him to perch on it, "Yes. And what might your name be?"  
  
The Black angel landed on her hand. He had long silvery-blue hair that was done up in a ponytail. A headband kept his long bangs out of his eyes, which were deep blue. He cleared his throat and said formally, "I am Black angel Fox Tail. I am honored to meet you."  
  
"Likewise." she replied, smiling at him. "Well, as nice as this is, I think there's an angel in distress, and if I retain you any longer, she might get into more trouble."  
  
"Okay." said the angel, hopping out of her hand, "If you'll please come with me, Archangel Michael."  
  
She watched as they began to walk away from her, and a look of bittersweet sorrow crossed her face. She was about to turn and walk away, when suddenly the little angel popped up in front of her again.  
  
"What is it, Fox Tail?" She asked.  
  
"You looked so happy and strong and serious when I was talking to you, but then we started leaving and your face got all sad and lonely looking. Are you lonely?" he asked, staring at her with a look of sympathy in his eyes.  
  
She decided to be honest with him, "Sometimes, Fox, sometimes I am."  
  
His face brightened up suddenly, "Come with us!! Come with us, Daughter of God!!" he shouted as he grabbed her finger and started trying to pull her in the direction that Michael was walking. "You can help too!! And afterwards, we can play games!!"  
  
She smiled and laughed, "All right, all right, I'll come. You go on ahead. I'll catch up to you in a minute."  
  
He grinned hugely, satisfied with her answer, and his smile stabbed something in her heart. He flew up over her head and away to join Michael, who was headed in the direction of the Pel tree groves.  
  
She walked behind them, trying to keep the tears from her eyes. She knew why his smile made her heart ache.  
  
The feelings, the memories from the "life" she had just come from came rushing back to fill herr mind and heart.  
  
"Chiaki..." she whispered after the tiny flying form...  
  
"I may be numberless, I may be innocent  
I may know many things, I may be ignorant  
Or I could ride with kings and conquer many lands  
Or win this world at cards and let it slip my hands  
I could be cannon food, destroyed a thousand times  
Reborn as fortune's child to judge another's crimes  
Or wear this pilgrim's cloak, or be a common thief..."  
- "A Thousand Years", by Sting  
  
The day went on. Together, she and Michael rescued the trapped Autumn Leaf from the tree, and carried baskets of the tiny Pel fruits to the building where they were stored. Outside of this building, the angels had set up a table where they were peeling, slicing, dicing, and mashing some of the Pel fruits to make pastries and cakes for the celebration that would take place after sunset. They helped with the baking too.  
  
Late afternoon found her and Michael lounging under the Pel trees while the Black and Pure angels played games of hide-and-seek and tag amongst the branches of the trees. They had been silent for a long time, simply enjoying each other's company. But then Michael noticed her attention was fixed on a certain angel...  
  
"You know, don't you?" he asked.  
  
She didn't take her eyes of the angel for an instant, "That that angel is the soul of 'Nagoya Chiaki'? Yes... it wasn't hard to figure out."  
  
Michael nodded, "God plans to make him a Pure angel soon."  
  
She said nothing. What else was there to say?  
  
Michael spoke again, "Those two angels with him. They are the souls of 'Toudaiji Miyako' and 'Minazuki Yamato'."  
  
An ache lanced through her chest as She sat up, staring at them, eyes wide with pain.  
  
Those were her dear friends from her past "life".  
  
Uncontrollably, she cried, "'Miyako'... 'Yamato'... 'MIYAKO'!!"   
  
She leapt to Her feet and ran to where the small group of tiny angels were playing. She stopped before them, a pained look still on her face, breathing in short, sobbing breaths.  
  
"Ah!! Daughter of God!! Hello!!" Fox stood up and smiled up at her in welcome.  
  
She pasted a fake smile on her face, "He...Hello Fox Tail... How are you?"  
  
"Fine, fine!!" he smiled again, and something shattered in her chest.  
  
"So... who are your friends?" she asked, trying to steady her breathing.  
  
The two Black angels, one male with silvery-green hair and green eyes, and one female with silvery-blue hair like Fox's and gold eyes, stood up and bowed.  
  
"I am Black angel Chime Bell!!" said the female, "It's an honor to meet you, Daughter of God!!"  
  
"I am Black angel Elm Lark." said the male, "It's an honor to meet you, Daughter of God."  
  
"Hey, you copied my greeting!!" cried Chime Bell.  
  
"N...no... no I didn't!! It's just the standard greeting they teach in school Chime." Elm Lark stuttered back.  
  
Chime Bell began to berate Elm Lark, and chase him about, waving her fists. Fox Tail grinned.  
  
"It may not look like it, but they really like each other." he whispered confidentially to her. She smiled as he raised his voice when he said, "A LOT!!"  
  
They both turned to him at the same time and yelled, "WE DO NOT!!"  
  
The volume of their combined voices sent Fox spiraling head over heals.   
  
The two angels giggled, but then Fox came at them, screaming, "TAG!! You're it!!" He slapped Elm upside the head, then flapped off, howling with laughter.  
  
Elm protested violently, "HEY!! Why do you always PICK ON ME!?" But then he laughed too, and turned to Chime and took a swipe at her, "TAG!!"  
  
Chime dodged deftly, then took off after Fox, giggling insanely.  
  
"NO FAIR!!" cried Elm, and he fluttered off after them.  
  
She was left alone under a Pel tree, tears threatening to spill down her face. She felt a strong hand on her shoulder, and she turned and buried her face in his chest.  
  
"It seems like you're having the hardest time you've ever had separating yourself from the 'life' you just came from." Michael whispered into her hair comfortingly.  
  
"Michael..." she sobbed, "I can't do it for some reason. I want that 'life' back. I feel like it was stolen from me!!" she cried as she burst into a passion.  
  
Michael sat her down behind the tree, away from the curious eyes of the angels. He cradled her against his chest as she cried.  
  
"I was right. You do miss 'Kusakabe Maron'. You miss being 'Kaitou Jeanne'."  
  
"Yes..." she breathed. She gulped and continued, "That 'girl' was so stubborn!! But I loved 'her' so!!"  
  
He waited for her to calm down, stroking her hair, shushing her gently. She needed someone to be by her side right now. He was thankful he had come today. She had called "Kusakabe Maron" stubborn, but she could be just as stubborn, and never would have thought to come to him if she needed help sorting out her feelings.  
  
"I didn't have this much trouble when I came back from being 'Jeanne d'Arc'..." she said quietly when her sobs had died down.  
  
"Perhaps it was because of the state of mind 'she' was in as she 'died'. 'She' was only concentrating on coming here, coming home. 'She' 'died' largely alone in the world as well. 'Kusakabe Maron' was surrounded by the ones 'she' loved. And I think 'she' 'died' with unfinished business on 'her' mind."  
  
"Yes." she answered, "'Her' family. The ones 'she' loved. 'She' didn't want to leave them yet when I was called home. But that's never happened to me before. I've always wanted to come home."  
  
"Perhaps it was because, for once, you weren't alone." Michael whispered to her.  
  
She raised her head and stared into his eyes with realization written on her face. Perhaps he was right...  
  
"Daughter of God... I'm sorry..." She was suddenly aware of the tiny weight on her shoulder. She turned to see Fox seated there, staring at her tear-stained face with sorrow written all over his own.  
  
"We all went off and left you, and I kind of forgot you were so lonely. I'm sorry."  
  
She chuckled somewhat insanely suddenly. The little angel had with those few words made her feel so much better, "Oh Fox Tail!! It's not your fault!! It's all right!!" She plucked him off her shoulder, held him in her hand and continued, "But thank you for coming back. It makes me feel... not so lonely..."  
  
He smiled at her again, and her heart cracked, "Don't call me Fox Tail. Call me Fox!!"  
"All right Fox."  
  
"Come on!!" he yelled, beckoning expansively, "Come play hide-and-seek with us!!"  
  
She smiled apologetically, "I'm sorry Fox, but I was just thinking about turning in for the night."  
  
His face automatically fell, "You mean, you aren't going to stay for the Pel-Mel Moon Festival?"  
  
She turned and looked at Michael, as if asking his permission. He nodded, and she turned back to Fox, who was now in a full-blown pout.  
  
"Okay. I'll stay."  
  
"YAY!!" he shouted as he did a little back-flip off her hand. "Come on!! Come on!! Chime and Elm are already hiding!! If you help me, I'll win for sure!!"  
  
"Okay then!! Let's go find them!!" she shouted, leaping to her feet and chasing off after the little angel.  
  
Michael smiled after her from his seat beneath the Pel tree, "Sweet Light... You'll get through this... You were never alone to begin with..."  
  
"Though lovers be lost love shall not;  
And death shall have no dominion."  
- Dylan Thomas  
  
She sat up in her bed, gasping for air.  
  
She'd had the dream again...  
  
In the dream, she was 'Kusakabe Maron' again, and 'she' was wandering the earth, alone. Suddenly, 'she' was standing in a street teeming with people, and then the sky grew dark, and everyone disappeared. Then 'she' went back to wandering the earth. The dream always ended with 'her' drowning in a pool of emerald-colored water.  
  
She desperately wanted for the dream to go away.  
  
She'd talked to Michael about it, and he had said that it was just her inner-self trying to sort out her feelings about the "life" she had just come from. He said that she should let the dream run its course, and in time it would go away.  
  
That was the last thing she wanted to do. She wanted it to go away now.  
  
She got out of her bed, and illuminated the room. Reaching for the pitcher on her night table, she poured herself a glass of water and gulped it down.  
  
"You awake?" came the small voice.  
  
She looked up from her glass of water to see Fox sitting on her window sill, his wings gleaming palely in the moonlight.  
  
"Your wings!!" she breathed.  
  
"Yes!! I am a pure angel from tonight!!" he whispered breathlessly, using the common quote used by those who became pure angels. "I dreamed about my wings turning white, and I woke up, and they had!!"  
  
"Congratulations!!" she said enthusiastically.  
  
"I wanted you to be the first to know." he said, suddenly serious.  
  
"Why?" she asked.  
  
"Because I'm going to do everything I can to make you feel honored and special." he smiled at her then.  
  
If only he knew what that smile did to her heart...  
  
"You do make me feel special, Fox. Thank you..."  
  
There was a long pause between them.  
  
"Hey, Fox?" she asked, staring down into her glass of water, "Do you... like anyone?"  
  
"Like?" Fox cocked his head to one side, then shook it, "Not really. I don't really feel the 'love-love' connection to anyone, you know?"  
  
"Yes... but... do you ever feel jealous of Chime and Elm then?"  
  
He shook his head again, "Mmm. Nope. I'm very happy for them."  
  
"But aren't you worried that you'll never find someone?"  
  
"I know I'll find someone someday. But if I don't, I'm perfectly content to spend my time here serving God. My life is just the way I want it to be. And I know I'll never be lonely because I have all the other angels, and Elm and Chime... and you!!"  
  
She turned away from him, because tears were threatening to fall again.  
  
He would be alone forever because of her...  
  
She knew how attachments to past lives worked...  
  
He would never find the one he wanted to be with, because it was her...  
  
"Do you think you'll become a True angel soon, then?" she asked, trying to cover up her sorrow.  
  
He shrugged, and she could hear his wings rustle restlessly, "If God so wills it. May Heaven's mysteries remain mysteries."  
  
She couldn't hold back her tears any longer... She couldn't look at him...  
  
"Well, it was lovely talking with you, Fox. Thank you so much for letting me be the first to see your wings."  
  
"Are you okay?" he asked, suddenly concerned.  
  
"I'm fine." she said, still not looking at him.  
  
"No, you aren't. You don't sound fine."  
  
"I'm just a little tired. I'm going back to bed, okay?"  
  
"Okay..." he said disconsolately, then flew off quickly.  
  
She threw herself back onto her bed and sobbed into her pillow.  
  
Angels who died without or before they found a true soul mate would always find them when they were called home to Heaven. But angels who had found their soul mate in life would wait for their love in Heaven without really knowing that they were waiting for a specific person. They could unconsciously sense the one they had loved from their past life, and would wait until they felt that "sense" before giving their heart to anyone. True loves from life could then be together forever in the Light of God in Heaven. That was why Chime and Elm were together. They could unconsciously feel that they were soul mates "Toudaiji Miyako" and "Minazuki Yamato".  
But because of her, Fox Tail, the soul of "Nagoya Chiaki" would spend his time in Heaven completely alone. She knew he was unconsciously searching for his love from his past life.  
  
He would be alone for eternity because he was waiting and searching for the soul of "Kusakabe Maron", and that was her!!   
  
And they couldn't be together!! Not a "spirit" and an angel!!  
  
She cried herself back into fitful slumber, aching with the bitterness of how it was all her fault...  
  
"Why make difficulties when all is one?"  
- Jeanne d'Arc  
  
She rushed through the upper levels of Heaven.  
  
Prayer wasn't going to work this time. She had to speak to God directly.  
  
Throwing open a door that didn't truly exist, she stared upwards into the wide open sky filled with fluffy white clouds, the sun intense.  
  
"GOD!!" she cried, "Make me an angel!! I want to become an angel so that I can be with Fox Tail!! I want to be his soul mate!! I want to be with him in the Light of your Love forever, like an ordinary angel!! I don't want to be "THIS" anymore!! I don't want to be a "spirit"!! PLEASE!! GOD!! I want to become an angel!!"  
  
She threw herself to her knees before His Glory and cried into her folded hands, weeping with grief and sorrow. The burden had finally grown too heavy for her...  
  
She could feel Him embrace her lovingly, and she fell into His arms, sobbing passionately. "Please... make me an angel..."  
  
My Daughter... He whispered to her, His voice full of His Love. And then no more words were needed. He simply held her in the Light of His Love until her body no longer shook with pain.  
  
"I'm sorry, Father." she whispered to Him, "I'm sorry for what I said. I was selfish."  
  
You are pure Goodness.  
  
"I was selfish!! I wanted something only for myself. It was wrong."  
  
You wanted it for Fox Tail, for the soul of "Nagoya Chiaki". Not yourself.   
  
"I wanted to feel what it was to be "normal" for once. I can't stand being alone anymore!! It was selfish. I didn't want to be alone anymore..."  
  
You are never alone.  
  
"Why am I the only one then? Why can't I be normal too?"  
  
What is normal?  
  
She fell silent then. What was normal?  
  
Everything is my creation, constructed from my Light and Love. Everyone is equal. Everyone has my Love. There are no barriers called "normal" or "different" or "alone". Looks matter not. Beliefs matter not. All are from myself. All is one. That's all that matters to Truth and the Soul.  
  
"I was selfish. For saying that I'm alone. I wanted something for myself, I wept for myself, and I forgot everything. I forgot You, and Michael, and Fox, and my beloved people on earth. I forgot the people who suffer, the ones I should truly be weeping for. How many times I said, 'I want...'. I. It's such a... cruel letter. A selfish letter. My people on earth... how I long to be with them again. But I am not one of them, and I am not an angel either. I feel like I don't belong on earth or in Heaven. Where do I belong, Father?"  
  
With me, my Daughter. That is the only place where anyone truly belongs.  
  
She smiled, finally feeling better. The warmth of His Love could lift even the saddest soul from the dark.  
  
"Father... thank you... I love you. You, who brought me into existence. You, who privileged me with the "power" to share in so many lives. Thank you!!"  
  
My Daughter... He whispered again, then released her...  
  
"The soul can split the sky in two,  
And let the face of God shine through."  
- Edna St. Vincent Millay  
  
Years passed, but they seemed like mere days in Heaven. She hardly noticed them as they raced by, plunging into the fall of eternity.  
  
She had finally chosen to be happy. She stayed with the angels all the time, spending half her time with the tiny Black and Pure angels, and the other half with Michael and the True angels. She breathed the pure air of Heaven, basked in its sunshine, and ran freely in joy, or simply sat and spent quiet moments with Fox Tail, watching the sunset.  
  
Her and Fox grew closer during this time, and all he wanted to do was make her happy. He brought her gifts, picked the tiny Pel fruits for her, and did all he could to make her laugh. She found soon that she felt like she needed to be near him all the time, as if he were some sort of lifesource for her. He gave her many things, but the thing she prized most that he had given her was her own smile back.   
  
And his smile still cracked her heart every time she saw it. But she didn't mind the pain at all...   
  
She wanted to be with him always... But she knew this could never be...  
  
And soon she found that it doesn't take long for 500 years to pass at all.  
  
After all, compared to eternity, it is merely the blink of an eye...  
  
"Please let me forget  
all those sweet smiles  
all of the passion  
all of the peace, the heat, the pain  
all those blue skies  
where your words were my freedom  
Please, don't let me fall in love with you again..."  
- "Don't" by Jewel  
  
One evening, just a few days before she was to leave, she invited Fox to have dinner at her home.  
  
She had always warned him that, someday, she would have to leave. He understood this, but every time she mentioned it, a sad look crossed his face.  
  
It would hurt him to know that the time had finally come for her to leave. Angels had no true sense of time, for such a thing was not needed in Heaven. But she, as a "spirit", did. Perhaps it was there to prepare her for her leaving. She cursed it. She wanted to be as carefree as the angels...  
  
She stopped that line of thought, quickly reminding herself that she was as God made her, and that He had a reason for everything.  
  
She'd had to do that a lot lately...  
  
They ate in silence for a little while, simply enjoying each other's company. But it didn't take the silence long to become awkward.  
  
Finally, Fox put down his tiny piece of bread and announced, "I'm going to earth in a few days."  
  
She looked at him, surprised, "With the other Pure angels? The 3 day, 3 night privilege trip? Congratulations."  
  
"No."  
  
Her face took on a look of fear, "What do you mean?"  
  
"I mean..." he trailed off, clenching one of his hands into a fist, "I've asked God to reincarnate me."  
  
"WHY?"   
  
The question exploded from her mouth as she dropped her own bread, fearing that she knew the answer.  
  
"Because..." he looked up at her with tears in his eyes, "I want to be by your side always!!" He wiped the tears away swiftly, smiled toughly, then continued, "I want to serve you, Daughter of God. You're so strong and serious, matchless and marvelous, cheerful and courageous!!"  
  
No... not those words from the other "life"...  
  
NO!!  
  
"You know I'm leaving then..." she said instead.  
  
"Yes. Archangel Michael told me."  
  
"But... you can't possibly have enough power..."  
  
"I do." he said seriously, then reached up and untied his hair, which he had been wearing in a higher and higher top-knot each time she saw him. The silver-colored hair felt to his feet. It was incredibly long... an indication of strong power...  
  
"When did you...?"  
  
"I prayed every night and gathered as much power as I could."  
  
"But... you know I'll be back soon, right?"  
  
"I don't care!! I want to be with you no matter where you are. I want to protect you. I want to devote my time on earth to finding you, protecting you, and aiding you in your mission. I'm not leaving anyone behind up here. I want to be with you!!"  
  
She looked away from him. She knew there would be no way to talk him out of it. She understood his soul...  
  
"I love you..." he said quietly after an eternity of silence.  
  
She looked up, fear and pain etching themselves onto her face, "What?"  
  
"I love you, Daughter of God!!"  
  
She could stand it no longer. She buried her face in her hands and cried...  
  
"Intreat me not to leave thee,   
or to return from following after thee:   
for whither thou goest, I will go;   
and where thou lodgest, I will lodge..."  
- Hebrew Bible  
  
Fox stayed with her the rest of the night, trying to alleviate her pain. He didn't understand what her pain was about. All he knew was that he wanted to make it go away. He sat on her shoulder in silence, just so she would know he was there while she cried, and he slept beside her on her pillow when she finally decided to go to sleep.  
  
When the sun rose, she was still sleeping. Fox opened his eyes, and rolled over to look at her sleeping face. Then he unfurled his wings, flexed them a bit to get the cramps out of them, and fluttered up into the air. He hovered before her face for a few moments, then leaned down and kissed her lightly on the forehead before flying up and out of the window, away over the wide groves of Pel trees...  
  
"But the thing that I saw in your face  
No power can disinherit:  
No bomb that has ever burst  
Shatters the crystal spirit."  
- George Orwell  
  
She didn't see Fox that day. Or the day after that. She asked all the angels she saw if they had seen him, and none of them seemed to know where he was.   
  
It greatly saddened her that he had disappeared, and wondered if he hadn't done it because of her reaction to his confession...  
  
I'm sorry... Fox... she thought to him in her heart...  
  
"It's the things I might have said that fester."  
- Clemence Dane  
  
She spent her last days in Heaven saying goodbye to all her friends amongst the angels. All the tiny angels were sad to see her go, but they understood that she would be back soon. They wished her Godspeed and good luck in her holy mission to help the human race. She blessed each of them, and promised to pray for them. And then, she smiled and laughed as she played one last game of hide-and-seek with them under the setting sun...  
  
"Time now to spread your wings  
To take to flight  
The life endeavor  
Aim for the burning sun  
You're trapped inside  
But you can still be free  
If time will set you free  
But it's a long long way to go..."  
- "You Can Still Be Free" by Savage Garden  
  
On the day of her departure, Michael came to walk with her to the Gate of Rebirth. She could scarcely contain her agitation in her impatience to return to the earth, to her people.  
  
"You look like a child waiting for a present." Michael told her, smiling, as they walked.  
  
"I am about to get a present, Michael. God's finest present that I received from Him. The power to participate in so many "lives"."  
  
Michael nodded, then frowned as her face fell.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"I didn't get to say goodbye..."  
  
"To Fox?"  
  
"Yes. Do you know where he his, Michael?"  
  
Michael only smiled enigmatically, "You may get to say goodbye to him yet."  
  
She turned to him with a startled look on her face, but he looked away, shut his eyes, and would say no more.  
  
She walked silently, her thoughts flying as quickly as a humming bird's wings. Perhaps Fox would be waiting for her at the entrance to the Gate Room. What kind of a "life" would she live this time? How would she help her people?  
  
Would Fox be there?  
  
They reached the entrance to the Gate Room, and there was no sign of Fox. Her face fell and tears came to her eyes. She wouldn't get to say goodbye...  
  
Michael drew her into an embrace, and she hugged him back as hard as she could.  
  
"Goodbye, my Sweet Light. I will watch over you always." He drew away from her, holding her at arm's length, "If you ever need me while you're down there, you know where to find me."  
"I know, Michael. I know."  
  
She pulled free from his warm embrace, then turned towards the entrance.  
  
"Farewell, Archangel Michael. We shall meet again."  
  
"Definitely."  
  
"Parting is all we know of heaven  
and all we need of hell."  
- Emily Dickinson  
  
The Gate Room was made of walls of mist and cloud. There were many Gates to and from Heaven, but only the one she summoned would appear before her.  
  
She stood amongst the mist for a moment, as it twined about her legs like something alive, saying a silent farewell to Fox in her heart. Then she steeled herself, folded her hands in front of her, closed her eyes, and began the prayer that would bring the Gate of Rebirth.  
  
Suddenly, the room became brilliant as the mirror that was the Gate of Rebirth slowly opened outwards.  
  
She stared at her own reflection in the mirror for a moment, then slowly began to walk towards the Gate...  
  
Goodbye... Fox...  
  
"WAIT!!" cried a small voice.  
  
She stopped where she was, whirled around, and gasped, "FOX!!"  
  
"Wait, Daughter of God!!" he cried again, fluttering towards her.  
  
"GET BACK!!" she screamed, "You'll be pulled in!!"  
  
"I'm coming with you, remember?" he said, hovering near her.  
  
"Fox..." she whispered as tears came to her eyes. It was so tempting to just let it go and have him come with her to be reborn. If he devoted his life to her, they could be together again, even if it was for a short time.   
  
But then she realized that it would only become an unending cycle if she let him do that. She couldn't do that...  
  
It would be selfish to want his life all to herself...  
  
She turned away from him.  
  
"I know I can't change your mind about being reborn. I understand your soul. But Fox... don't devote your life to me!! Please!! I'm begging you!! Pray that perhaps you'll meet me again, and maybe we will meet. But I don't want you to waste your life on me!!" she sobbed uncontrollably, "You did that once, already, in your other life. And you wound up alone... After I was called home, and in Heaven, because we could never be together... a "spirit" like me... no!! DON'T DO IT, FOX!! You'll just wind up alone again!!"  
  
"When did I ever complain?"  
  
That voice!!  
  
She whirled around... and found that Fox wasn't Fox anymore...  
  
Standing before her was "Nagoya Chiaki"...  
  
NO!!  
  
She turned and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror of the Gate of Rebirth...  
  
NO!!  
  
She was "Kusakabe Maron" again!!  
  
"NO!! GOD!! DON'T DO THIS TO ME!! NO NO NO!!" she screamed hysterically, clenching her hands into fists and holding them before her face as if she were protecting herself from something.  
  
She felt his gentle hands on hers, and she screamed again and tried to pull away. He grabbed her wrists, trying to prevent her escape, "Wait."  
  
NO!!  
  
"LET ME GO!! DON'T TOUCH ME!! NO!!"   
  
Before she could break away, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her with 500 years worth of restrained love and passion that was finally allowed to be free. She wrapped her arms around his neck and returned all his feelings as hot tears poured down her cheeks. The holy fire of love ignited between them, and it was so warm...  
  
Perhaps 500 years was a long time...  
  
...for some things...  
  
The kiss seemed to last forever. When they finally broke away, he gently kissed her cheeks, the lids of her closed eyes, and her forehead, then held her against his chest as she sobbed in pain and relief.  
  
"God has chosen me to be your guardian. The reason I disappeared for those few days was because God summoned me to Him so that He could give me this power. I don't hold one-third of His power as you do, but He has made me into a "spirit" that is able to reincarnate again and again. He decided that you shouldn't be the only "spirit" any longer. God heard your prayers from the last few nights, the ones asking for a longer time on earth to help your people. I am here to ensure that longer time. I will protect you from Satan at any cost. He won't be able to kill you this time!!"  
  
She looked up into his face, and he was smiling that wonderful smile she missed so much, "Don't..."  
  
But he put a finger to her lips, silencing her, "That is my purpose now. And you know you can't change my mind." He teased as his grin turned cocky.  
  
She smiled and giggled.  
  
"That smile... I want to protect it." he whispered before kissing her again as they returned to their "spirit" selves...  
  
"And after all is said and done   
I'll be the one beside you   
I'll be your love and loyal friend   
Until the end, beside you"  
- "Beside You" by Tal Bachman  
  
On his walk back from the Gate Room, Archangel Michael had been joined by two tiny Pure angels. One, a female with pea-green hair and green eyes, and the other a male with silvery-purple hair and gold eyes.  
  
"Did God really do it?" said the female.  
  
"Yes, He did." Michael answered, smiling.  
  
"I'm glad. I'm so glad." said the female, "They will finally be together forever. Just like 'she' always wished."  
  
The male smiled and crossed his arms, "Hmph, 'Chiaki', that old dog!!"  
  
"Access!! You're still so vulgar!!" shouted the female.  
  
"Fin!!" Access yelled back in a mocking voice, "You're still so cute!!"  
  
Fin blushed and whapped Access over the head with her fist.  
  
"OW!!"  
  
Fin turned back to Michael, "Archangel Michael?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I think I want to be reborn again. Even if it's just for one more time, I want to meet her again. I want to help her again."  
  
"And where she goes, the wonderful me goes!!" said Access, wrapping his arm around Fin's waist. "I wouldn't mind hanging around with 'him' again, either."  
  
Michael closed his eyes and smiled as he walked, "Perhaps, in a few years or so, you could go back too..."  
  
"In my end is my beginning."  
- Mary Stuart  
  
Holding hands, the two entered the Gate of Rebirth together. Surrounded by pure light, a great wind picked up and lifted their feet from the ground. The hovered a few moments, holding each other's hands, staring into each other's eyes.  
  
Then, they let go, and they began to slowly drift apart.  
  
"I love you." she said with tears in her eyes.  
  
"And I love you." he answered.  
  
"We shall meet again."  
  
"I'll pray to meet you again..."  
  
Then they were both engulfed in the light and became one with it. The last sight she saw were his wonderful eyes...  
  
And then there was nothing for a long time...  
  
And then the miracle of birth...  
  
"Hibiwareta daichi de kimi to (On the deserted land with you)  
Owaru sekai wo nagameteita (We watched the world ending)  
Itsu no hi ka jikuu wo koete (Someday we'll cross over space-time)  
Deaeru you ni inori wo nokoshite... (I'll pray to meet you again...)"  
- "Haruka..." by Pierrot  
  
End(sort of)  
  
Notes:   
  
The quote at the beginning of the story I really did make up. I was trying to write a Japanese song, and this part of it seemed to fit the story quite well. J  
  
The quote "I'll pray to meet you again. " and the entire quote at the end of the story are parts of the song, "Haruka...", the first ending theme for Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne, for which this story is named. The translation is taken from Sachi's Distribution's subtitled translation of the Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne anime.   
  
The descriptions of the angels, the "spirit", etc., are based on my interpretations of information taken from the Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne manga (specifically, from "Chapter 20 -- Fin Fish", in tankubon 5), and my interpretations of the information are as accurate as possible. The translation that I read for this research was done by Emi-chan.  
  
The "place" and the "spirit's" dream were inspired by the first ending animation for the Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne anime (the one accompanied with "Haruka...").  
  
I chose to use the "Jeanne d'Arc" spelling for Joan of Arc's name in this story, because I like it better. For those of you who've never seen the anime/manga and don't know, Jeanne d'Arc is the French spelling of Joan of Arc (And if you don't know who Joan of Arc is., go to the library and run the name through the catalogue and do some reading on her. She is one of the most fascinating historical figures of all time.).  
  
"Sweet Light", Archangel Michael's nickname for the "spirit", was taken from a novel called "Young Joan" by author Barbara Dana. The novel describes what the young life of Jeanne d'Arc might have been like, and in it Saint Michael calls Jeanne "Sweet light".  
  
I'm thinking that Archangel Michael is going to appear in more of my Jeanne fics. I like him. He's cool. I enjoy writing him. I like how he interacts with the "spirit". Oh yeah, he'll be back... ehehe...  
  
"Daughter of God", the name that the angels call the "spirit", is from the mouth of Jeanne d'Arc herself, who during one of her trial-for-witchcraft sessions told her prosecutors that her "voices" called her "Daughter of God".  
  
I didn't give the "spirit" a name because names are something that are of our world. The name a "spirit" like that would have had in heaven would probably be beyond our comprehension. Or something.  
  
The "cracking" that happens to the "spirit's" heart whenever Black angel Fox Tail smiles was inspired by Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne manga Chapter 21 -- " Purely true, noble eyes. Therefore...". In this chapter, Fin Fish meets her brother from her past life, and each time he smiles, etc., a cracking sound happens in Fin's heart. In the chapter, it was said to be a warning, because Fin's life was in danger from her brother because he was possessed by a demon. But I adapted it, because I figured that maybe something like this would happen if someone met someone from their past life. There must be some sort of signal to let you know, right?  
  
The quote "Strong and serious, matchless and marvelous, cheerful and courageous" that Fox cites is Maron's speech for when she transforms into Jeanne in the anime (and she says it every once in a while in the manga too.).  
  
The quote, "That smile... I want to protect it." is one of Chiaki's lines in the manga (Chapter 19 -- "Goodbye... Wandering Fish of the Universe").  
  
Access calls himself, "the wonderful me" at the end of the story. This is an extremely rough translation of what he calls himself, which is "ore-sama". In the manga, he says this all the time, instead of just "ore(I, me)" (I have no idea if he does this in the anime or not). It really means something like "Lord Me" or "King Me", but that seemed cumbersome to the scene, so I made it "wonderful me". I wanted to have him say this because it IS part of his character, and I wanted to maintain that.  
  
I must note that I was very tempted to use Japanese words in this story, because sometimes I feel that they would convey the meaning of what I was trying to say better, or they would sound better, etc. Such as my repeated references to "that person". I really wanted to use "Ano hito (basically, "that person")" there, but it wouldn't have made sense, I don't think. And I don't think this last note made any sense either. Oh well...  
  
My Thank-yous:  
  
Thanks to my friends, Elisha, Lizzie Heather, Farha(a fellow fanficer), and Scheree(TREKKIE!!). My true sisters when I have no blood ones!! We're all on the same crazy wave-length, right girls? Without you guys, I wouldn't have enough insanity to write fanfiction!! Also, thanks to Elisha and Lizzie for being my semi-beta readers. I appreciate it!! Do it again sometime!! And then we can have another party together and watch Cabaret!! I TOLD you we had to do that... SUCK AN ELF!! 10TH KINGDOM AND THE LETTER J AND HARRY POTTER FOREVER!! YAY!!  
  
Thanks to Emi-chan, Meimi, and Peaches for doing those wonderful translations of the Kaitou Jeanne manga!! If you hadn't done them, I would have had to do them myself!! And everyone knows how lazy I am. Thanks girls!! AUGH!! Poor Noin-sama!! He only got that ONE line at the end of the manga!! Damn.... I want to hate that guy so much, and yet... he looks SO GOOD in jeans.... I JUST CAN'T HATE HIM!! We'll have to talk about him sometime. Thank you!! (Actually, I really love and adore Noin to death now... *sigh*)  
  
Thanks to Sachi's Distribution for subtitling Jeanne. You guys obviously know a good thing when you see it, and you actually had the sense to subtitle it!! Unlike some OTHER translation companies I don't care to mention... YAY!! THANK YOU!!  
  
Thanks to Tanemura Arina for creating such wonderful and deep characters for Kaitou Jeanne. Each one has so many layers, and just when you think you've figured them out, they do something completely crazy and surprise you again. Thanks Arina-sensei, for giving me one more obsession to waste my time on!! I love Chiaki!! Where did you come up with such a hottie!? Thank you!! Do another manga story sometime!! One with more hotties!! And another dragon like Silk!! LET'S GO SILK ROAD!!  
(Additional Notes: After I wrote this, but before its first posting on the internet, Arina-sensei did indeed do another manga stories with more hotties and another dragon!! Time Stranger Kyoko!! YAY!!)  
  
And now I will go get some chocolate ice cream to celebrate!! YAY!! Bye everyone!! Check back in a little while to see if I've written more Jeanne fics!! There's bound to be another one somewhere in this cluttered up brain... Now, where did it go...?  
  
And... THANKS TO THE WONDERFUL ME!!  
  
Me: *comes into the room with a bowl of chocolate ice cream* Access!! How did you get in here!? What are you doing to my story!?  
Access: Uh... uh... NOTHING!!  
Me: You are so... WHAT'S THIS ABOUT THE "WONDERFUL YOU"!? You're making me look vain!!  
Access: *flying away and flailing his arms* FORGIVE ME!!  
Me: *sets down her chocolate ice cream* Are you kidding!? NO WAY!! *chasing him with a spatula that has magically appeared*  
Access: But!! But!! But!! You didn't put enough of the wonderful me in your story!!  
Me: That's because it wasn't ABOUT YOU, baka!! *runs back to chocolate ice cream and hurls it at Access*  
Access: *is clobbered by bowl and semi-melted ice cream* GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! COLD!!  
Me: Serves you right. NO!! DON'T LAND ON THE FURNITURE!! *plucks Access off a couch*  
Access: *licking chocolate ice cream off of his face* *whines* I like pancakes better...  
Me: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... *smacks a hand to her head* Come on Access. Let's go find your mug so you can take a bath...  
Access: NO!! I DON' T WANNA TAKE A BATH!!  
Me: Aww!! SON OF A - - !! You left the thing on!! *comes over and pushes a button*  
*screen goes black*  
  
Thought of the day:  
People speak of how wonderful it is to be a God-fearing Christian. But what I have always observed is that humans fear what we don't understand, and what we don't understand, we destroy. Does that mean that to be God-fearing is to destroy God?  
  
Email: meiryosa@hotmail. com   
Send me questions and comments!! I love hearing from people!!  



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